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[THE BIG QUESTION] WHAT MOVIES ARE YOU MOST EXCITED ABOUT THIS SUMMER?

PART 2

JON ABRAMS

Like everyone else here, I am a huge fan of horror, but not only horror. Zoom out a little and there’s even more to look forward to, particularly in the action genre, starting with one that may just be my most-awaited of the year…

NOBODY 2

August 15th

I love Bob. I loved Bob before I even knew I loved Bob, when he was writing all my favorite stuff on Saturday Night Live in the 1990s. By the time Mr. Show first aired, I was just the right age and mindset for that. I remember staying up just to see new episodes. I watched every movie he directed. LET’S GO TO PRISON? THE BROTHERS SOLOMON? I was there. Thrilled when he popped up on Breaking Bad. Even more thrilled when he got center stage in Better Call Saul. Thrilled maybe most of all when he finally got home in LITTLE WOMEN.

So you might rightly predict that I loved the fuck out of NOBODY. It was my favorite movie of 2021. It was a movie that made an action hero out of Bob, and that was mighty joyous all on its own, but then the later goings of the movie came, and those two actors showed up, and I didn’t expect them to show up, and I would be ecstatic to see them even if I had known, but you drop them in as a surprise, and ohmyfuckinggod.

All of that said, there’s an entirely different reason why this is my most eagerly-awaited of the year, and that’s because NOBODY 2 is directed by Timo Tjahjanto, who may just be my favorite working director at the moment overall, and who unquestionably is one of the finest action directors in the world. I have no doubt this is going to rock the pillars of Heaven.

DANGEROUS ANIMALS

June 6th

It’s rare these days that I plan a trip to the movies in advance, particularly with friends, since I’m an old fuck now and things happen when they happen. But my buddy and I already have plans to see this movie, about a serial killer who captures a surfer and plans to feed her to the sharks circling under the boat. The director is Sean Byrne, who has made just three movies in fifteen years, but one of them was THE LOVED ONES, which means I would be seeing this one even if it didn’t have fucking sharks in it.

FEAR BELOW

May 2nd

But usually for me, sharks alone are enough. I’ll see literally and every any movie with a shark in it. No exaggeration. Check my internet history. This one intrigues me because it’s a period piece! Set in the 1940s. Way less gizmos to use against killer sharks back then. FEAR BELOW is already available, but I haven’t seen it yet, so on my to-do list it goes!

A BREED APART

May 16th

Another movie that is already available but essential to seek out, for me anyway, is this, which is a sort of MOST DANGEROUS GAME update but with ladies, and more specifically, with ladies battling killer dogs. One of them is played by Virginia Gardner (HALLOWEEN, STARFISH), reteamed here with Grace Caroline Currey, her costar from FALL, so this is just something I’m gonna have to do.

DIABLO

June 13th

Scott Adkins versus Mario Zaror. What else do you need to know, exactly?

THE PHOENICIAN SCHEME

June 6th

I never look forward to Wes Anderson movies, even though I always end up liking them while I’m watching them, so this time I’m going to get ahead of myself and start the excitement now.

THE RITUAL

June 6th

I’ve written about the Nicolas-Cage-ification of our great movie stars before, and Al Pacino is sort of a unique case because he was Cage-ifying himself even before Cage was really doing much of it. He didn’t even need silly movies to do it for him! He brought it with him into serious movies!

Maybe THE RITUAL is a sober-minded movie about an exorcism with a restrained Al Pacino and a somehow-restrained Dan Stevens, who is one of our most promising Cages-in-training. But maybe it’s another POPE’S EXORCISM (and why are so many of these movies religious-oriented?) and that would be even better!

BAD SHABBOS

June 6th

More religion! Yay! Not usually my thing, religion, but I’ve heard some really good things about this movie, which is about tensions at Shabbos dinner. (That refers to Shabbat, aka the Jewish Sabbath.) Also: Method Man is there!

FINDING FAITH

June 16th

I promise this is the last religion-type movie on my list. Sometimes, more like occasionally, but sometimes I do watch these faith-based movies, because sometimes they have actors I like a lot. Paula Patton, instead of being invited back to MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE, is here. And hell, Keith David? Him I’ll see in literally anything. Loretta Devine and Nadine Velasquez are just incredible value added. Will the movie be any good whatsoever? I just cannot see how! But keep the Faith alive. That’s Paula Patton. She is playing Faith. That’s why the movie is called that. If you watch this movie, you will find her.

28 YEARS LATER

June 20th

Anything Danny Boyle, I’m there. Gotta be honest: My favorite Danny Boyle era will always be “Written by John Hodge” Danny Boyle. I dig “Written By Alex Garland” Danny Boyle, especially SUNSHINE, of which this one will be the latest example, but we all have favorite eras of our favorite artists. It’s just personal taste. With Danny Boyle, you can hardly go wrong. Plus this will have Ralph Fiennes getting weird, which always rules. I just hope Naomie Harris will at least do a cameo.

HARLEY FLANAGAN: WIRED FOR CHAOS

June 20th

This documentary is going to be crazy. If you have any idea who Harley Flanagan is, you know that’s a fact. You also might be wondering how that guy could possibly still be alive, which is reasonable. He’s an essential part of the foundation of New York hardcore, which is somewhere between punk and metal. I totally fucking love his work, although I can allow that it’s not for everyone. It is for me, though!

THE FANTASTIC FOUR: FIRST STEPS

July 25th

Getting ready to duck here, but this movie strikes me as miscast from top to bottom. I definitely like all of these actors, relax, but I just don’t think any of them are quote-unquote perfect. None of it bothers me, since all these actors are more than talented enough to make the stretch (pun not initially intended, but I’m rolling with it). I maybe accept Ebon Moss-Bachrach easiest out of any of the castings. Blue-eyed Jew from New York, can’t really complain about that. Who would I have cast as Ben Grimm? Hard call. For me, Domenick Lombardozzi. Maybe not a Jew, but Italian. Sometimes that can be pretty much the same thing. I hope this movie is good. Maybe it will be. If they do justice to the Thing, one of my favorite characters, for me that’ll be enough.

WITCHBOARD

August 15th

I had no idea this was coming. This is a remake of WITCHBOARD, from 1986. The matter of remakes and horror movies has been litigated to death and back, on social media and everywhere else, and I’m not about to summon that ancient demon here. I just find two things interesting here: One, people get heated over the idea of remaking horror classics. What about movies that, to be generous, might not exactly be classics? I know, I know, it’s all subjective, and every horror movie is “a classic” to somebody out there. Anyway, two: To justify horror remakes, people go straight to the holy trinity of the ‘80s: THE THING, THE FLY, and THE BLOB. Carpenter and Cronenberg certainly don’t need me to advocate for them any, but who directed THE BLOB? Chuck Russell. And who directed WITCHBOARD 2025? Chuck Russell. Benefit of the doubt: Granted.

HONEY DON'T!

August 22nd

Gotta love that title. Got to. I’m not totally adjusted to this idea of Coen Brothers movies with only one or the other brother involved, but life is change and I’m trying to keep up. And even half the Coen Brothers is way more than most other movies have to say for them.

HIGHEST 2 LOWEST

August 22nd

Denzel Washington with Spike Lee is as good as De Niro with Scorsese. I hope that’s not something we need to argue about. If it has to be an argument, then, let me go out on a limb: Gun to my head, if I could choose only one legendary actor-director pairing? Please don’t make me choose, please, please, I beg you, don’t, but okay it’s Spike and Denzel for me. That’s how exciting it is.

CAUGHT STEALING

August 29th

I read the books (actually the entire series) from which this was adapted. Not entirely bowled over, but obviously I liked them enough to read them all. Slender, quick-moving crime stories. This is also a curious and unusual move for Darren Aronofsky, who hasn’t done a crime film before, unless you count REQUIEM FOR A DREAM, and certainly hasn’t done a potboiler, as they used to call ‘em. I’m curious!

THE TOXIC AVENGER

August 29th

I am in love with the existence of this movie, to the point where I’m getting a little nervous that the reality can never live up to the beautiful, precious way I envision this movie. I am a huge fan of Macon Blair, as a writer, as a director, as an actor. I love Peter Dinklage, as should we all, and I love the idea of him as this character, and this character returning at this moment in time. Look, I’m going to love it no matter what. I just hope it’s Godzilla love and not Ghoulies love. Big, earth-shaking, fire-breathing love, not puny, slimy, cackling, toilet-dwelling love.

Let us know which upcoming movies you can’t wait to see. Email us at [email protected]

See you in the lobby!